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Informality
- A Unique American Value After giving my Culture Shock presentation to a group in the Woodlands, I was reading the feedback sheets. One person wrote, "Last year, I was in France for vacation. I found French people extremely rude." After presenting a program on U.S. culture in Huntsville, someone in the audience told me that Asian shopkeepers don't smile (i.e., they are not friendly). I remember when I was studying at the University of North Texas, my friends used to say, "Why are you so sad? Is everything OK back home?" I wore my regular facial expressions but to my friends I appeared very sad. What is going on here? These incidents point to a distinct cultural difference. Mainstream Americans value informality where most of other cultures value formality. Recently, I spoke to a group that primarily consisted of engineers from Asian countries (i.e., Taiwan, China, India and Pakistan). A second speaker also presented part of the program. Afterwards, the second speaker came to me and asked, "Did I do something wrong? The audience did not laugh at my funny lines." One possible reason that he did not get his expected response from the audience might be that Asians are coming from a formal culture. Even though Asians have been living here for many years, they appear to be more reserved and discreet about smiling and laughing (i.e., showing their emotions) in front of strangers. They may go home and laugh their heads off. Such behavior from Asian Americans may not be at a conscious level; knowing differences on an intellectual level may not be sufficient. It takes a long time to alter our life-long conditioning. Just a word of caution, we can't stereotype all Asian Americans as being formal. It really depends on the acculturation level of the individual to our mainstream US culture. When I first arrived in the US, I was amazed to see that there were no visible barriers between people. Anyone can strike up a conversation with another person regardless of age, class, gender or status differences. People smile and laugh during their first meeting with others. It appears that they have known each other for a long time. People display pictures of their wives and children in their offices. To my surprise, many folks carry pictures of their loved ones with them all the time. They are eager to share those pictures even with a person they have just met. This cultural value of informality is also reflected in clothing (e.g., wearing jeans with holes) and addressing someone older by using his first name without any formal (Mr., Mrs., uncle or aunt) titles. The English language supports that informality by having just one word, "you" to address another person. The Spanish language has 2 words, Urdu has 3 words and the Thai language has 12 words for "you." These different types of "you" are the framework of formality. Informality reflects a value of mainstream US culture. In many other culture, formality is valued. The Mexican, Chinese, Asian Indian, South American, and Arab cultures are more formal. Mainstream Americans share several cultural values with Europeans but when it comes to the value of informality, the US is not continental. People from France, Germany and England also value formality. For many years, I did not have enough courage to display pictures of my wife and children in my office. It just felt weird. It didn't mean that I didn't love my family. Now I do have a family portrait in my office. The other day someone asked me to show pictures of my children. The person expected me to open my wallet and take out the pictures. Having lived here for thirteen years, I still feel strange carrying my children's pictures in my wallet. My mother who just visited the US was very surprised to see people so open in showing their emotions and smiling all the time. "These people enjoy life and they don't have any worries," she commented. OK so what? Now I know that the mainstream US culture is more informal than many other cultures. Well, as a first step, we can use this knowledge to our advantage by becoming better communicators. Now we have a new tool in our communication skills tool kit. This knowledge can give us an edge in our interactions with others who may not share our value of informality. Sometimes we get frustrated and upset that these people just don't have any manners. To us, they appear to be very rude. By realizing that our interpretations may be culturally based, we may be better able to keep our blood pressure down. We need to recognize that many other cultural differences also exist. We need to learn to hold our judgment and try to avoid making false assumptions. All of us need to do that no matter what culture we think we represent. return to quicklinks Contact:
Syed & Joyce Zafar, Cultural
Diversity Group (http://www.compassnet.com/szafar) |
